Subtitle to my title is: How I Taught My Baby Curse Words.
- · I’m thankful. I seriously am extremely thankful that I have great friends and family members who want to throw me baby showers and want to buy me gifts. I think that is the nicest thing ever and I always feel like a thank you is not nearly enough to really say how completely thoughtful I think they are.
With that said, I think registering for gifts is one of the worst chores ever.
Of course, once I start receiving all these awesome gifts I registered for I’m sure it’ll be totally worth my one half-day of pain. But seriously. Who thinks this is fun?
I know there are people out there who look forward to it. “Aren’t you so excited?” “Wasn’t that so fun?” are questions I hear.
No. I don’t think it’s fun to wander aimlessly up and down the 5 aisles at Target that are dedicated to baby things and try to figure out the differences between a crib, pack and play, exersaucer, travel gym mat, and a tummy time mat. But that’s just me.
I’m not a pro people!! I’m a newbie!
I’m totally sure we registered for what is basically the same item more than once out of sheer stupidity. And then I almost killed a Target lady.
Here’s how it went:
–9:45 a.m.: Arrive at Target.
–10 a.m.: Try to figure out how to create a registry using Target kiosk. It asked me if I wanted to create a registry. I said yes. Then it said “you can’t do that until you create a registry.” I know my baby can hear me now and what he is hearing me say is all curse words.
–10:15 a.m.: With my husband’s help, we create a registry. I take the paper it printed out and he hands it to the attendant.
–10:30 a.m.: My husband gets the registering gun.
–10:32 a.m.: Kevin asks if he can register for a Blu-Ray movie. I don’t even know what that is but I’m sure it’s HD-related (yawn) and is not for babies.
–10:35 a.m.: We tackle my sister’s cheat sheet list. I realize I need a pen but I’ve switched purses and do not have one. I walk out to the car to get my trusty-always-there-when-I-need-it pen.
–10:37 a.m.: Pen is not there.
–10:39 a.m.: Kev borrows pen from worker. We get started again registering for the big items – stroller, car seat, bouncer, baby carrier, and tons of other stuff I’ve forgotten already but they were on aisle one of baby land.
–11 a.m.: Kev checks our progress on the gun. It says our names are Angelica and Carlos and we’ve registered for 80 things. Mommy teaches baby how to curse some more.
–11:15 a.m.: We tell the attendant. She says the paper that printed out of the kiosk must’ve been incorrect so we need to do the kiosk thing again. We try to. Then another worker says “I think that one’s broken.” I stab her in the eye with the pen they let us borrow. Okay…I just think about it.
–11:20 a.m.: We register using the other kiosk.
–:11:25 a.m.: We get another gun. We register for all the things we just registered for again. This time for us. Not Angelica and Carlos.
–11:35 a.m.: More registering. I don’t know what anything is and it’s kind of frustrating. I almost cry but stop myself. I leave all the “safety stuff” to my husband and pick out some cute little shoes instead.
–11:45 a.m.: I think about registering for diapers, but then I see the aisle and it’s scary so I just skip it and hope people know I need them.
–11:50 a.m.: Target’s photo albums = boo. So I don’t register for any.
–Noon: Turn in gun. Walk out of store. Rejoice by eating yummy yeast rolls and potato soup at O’Charleys.
And it wasn’t really even over then. I got home to check the registry online and it wasn’t there. I checked a couple times last night and it was never there. This morning I checked and it wasn’t there. So I sent off a (very nice) email telling them that they better put my registry on there NOW!!! (They did.)
When/if you guys meet my son one day and one of his first words is vulgar – don’t blame him. I should blame myself but, of course, I blame Target.