If Tom Was My Boyfriend…

…We would’ve totally broken up today.  With each other.  I’m pretty sure it would’ve been mutual.  (Maybe we would’ve tried to remain friends?!  Maybe not.)

Kevin is on paternity leave with me this week technically.  Except that his work paid tons of money for a consultant to come in and train everyone so he had to go to work from 1p-5p today and all day tomorrow.  Also, in Kevin’s world 1p-5p means 12p-7p…just in case you were wondering.

In Tom’s world, Dad being gone meant he could totally abuse his Mom.  Specifically from 2:30p until 7p when he stayed wide awake with frequent bursts of hysterical crying.  I also had frequent bursts of hysterical crying during this time.  But good golly — it was a rough day.

I tried a lot of things to get him to calm down, but the only thing that seemed to work for any amount of time is if I walked around the house, frequently bumping into either Huck or the 50,000 baby things all over my house, and patting his back.  If I did that constantly, he was fine for the majority of the time.  While walking and bumping, I would walk past the mirrors to get a peek to see if he was sleeping.  He wasn’t.

After a while, my arms would get really tired and weak since the last time they were worked out was never.  So I would then sit with him in the rocker in the nursery, listening to classical music for a bit.  Again, this would work for a while and sometimes he would snooze for a whole 5 minutes before realizing that I was happy and so he would start screaming again.

I tried giving him gas relief drops.  I changed his diaper a lot.  I changed his clothes thinking maybe he was too hot.  I sang songs.  I read a book to him.  I put him in the swing.  I put him in the bouncy seat upstairs and bounced it myself.  I put him in the bouncy seat downstairs in case he has some sort of preference.

And still…there was screaming.  And I was screaming in my mind.

When Kevin came home I told him that Tom actually wants me to go back to work after 6 weeks instead of 12.  Kevin laughed because he thought I was joking.  And…I guess I am.

I’ve got to tell you — today has not given me a lot of confidence about tomorrow and tomorrow was the day I was dreading!

Please wish me luck that we have a good Wednesday.  Surely he’ll be so tuckered from today that tomorrow he will totally sleep between every feeding.  And if he does stay awake, he’ll use the time to learn to smile and laugh and say “I love you Mom.”

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