Tom is ready to crawl.
He has been ready to crawl, walk, run, sprint, ride bikes, drive a car, travel the world since he was approximately 1.5 weeks old. Basically as soon as he was able to think something other than “Milk!” He’s been thinking “Go!”
In the past few weeks, he’s been scooting around to get things. I’ve been surprised to find that when I put him on his mat and go into the kitchen for something, I can come back and find him off the mat and trying to get into Huck’s bed.
Like, wait. These baby things move too?!
And even though I know it will open up a completely new set of crazy challenges — I am excited.
I say that now. Check back in with me in about 5 days…
Because I don’t have a baby-friendly house.
I know. I should’ve been preparing. I had heard rumors that these babies do eventually begin moving on their own.
But just like everything else baby, I’ve been in denial. Or I’ve been procrastinating. Either way, my house is not ready.
My living room has one wall that is all bookcases. And they have books on them. Lots and lots of books. These books would be perfectly fun things to pull off shelves. Maybe even onto a little baby head. And the bottom shelf is all of my photo albums. I mean, is Tom going to try to ruin pictures of me wearing shiny tops and tight pants and dancing at the Buckhead clubs in the early 2000s??
And my dining room has a huge cabinet that takes up a wall in there. And that cabinet has cubby holes that are filled with cute little — mostly breakable — things. Like wine glasses. And my fine china that I’ve never used but looks really good in there.
And even though I’ve moved most of the breakables up to the top cubbies, I now realize my child is tall. (Because he totally takes after me. Right? Right?! Fine. He’s still a daddy duplicate.) He’s going to be able to pull himself up and grab my cake plates. I just know it.
And I’m obsessed with cleaning products. I love them. I don’t always use them regularly – but I do love them. I have them stashed everywhere. Always in bottom cabinets. Poison!
And my toilets are totally not locked.
(Side note: Do I really need to do that? I feel like I have limited toilet time already and the few times I’ve been at a friend’s house with a locked toilet I’ve felt quite moronic at how long it took me to figure it out. Does it require a Masters degree? Because I only have a Bachelors…)
Point being — I think I need to get a move on. Because my little guy cannot wait to get a move on.
He’s got big plans that include breaking china, ruining hideous pics of his mom, gathering up all the poisons and swimming in the toilet.
Did I mention I was excited?