A year ago, I was days away from having Tom. And although I steadfastly avoided reading anything that would prepare me for having a baby (instead re-reading the Twilight series) I still managed to accidentally stumble across the occasional article or blog that gave advice to a first-time mom.
And I will say that I either didn’t understand what it was talking about OR it scared the crappy crap out of me.
So, this entry is the advice I needed a year ago.
Not all first-time mothers. Me as a first-time mother.
So, here it goes. My advice to year-ago me.
1. You need to take your Diaper Genie back. That lid? It’s supposed to snap shut. I know you don’t know that, but it is. So while you still have the receipt, go exchange it.
2. I know you’re really stressed and don’t have a lot of time to do anything extra, but go get that manicure and pedicure you were wanting. You deserve it.
3. Take all the infant shoes back to the store and buy cute footie pajamas for him instead.
4. You know how you’re scared to take him to the grocery store? Don’t be. He’s gonna love it.
5. Spending money on that fancy camera was a really good idea. You won’t regret it.
6. You know how much you love you husband? Imagine all that love PLUS more. I know you don’t think you’re going to be mush and gush about it, but you will.
7. Go ahead and buy yourself some more stretchy pajama pants for that first month home with baby. You’ll live in them.
8. When you get home with your new little one and immediately go downstairs to cry, don’t worry. You’re just tired.
9. Huck will adjust and be totally fine. You will still put sweaters on him when it’s cold.
10. This is going to surprise you, but you won’t use that Boppy pillow.
11. Quick, put “sound machine” on your registry!
12. It’s really okay that you don’t put him in any clothes that have to go over his head while he’s a newborn. I know you’re scared, and he doesn’t mind staying in pjs and snap-up-the-front onesies.
13. Get Kevin to turn off the ringer on the upstairs phone. Don’t even try. It’ll just piss you off.
14. Don’t be scared about putting him in his crib. He’ll be fine.
15. Don’t bother sending Tom to the hospital nursery after you have him, they’ll just keep bringing him back to you. Oh, and he’s not hungry like they say. He just misses you.
16. For his first bath, use more water.
17. Let Kevin take a feeding in the middle of the night. He really doesn’t mind and you need the sleep.
18. Tom may go through a crying-non-stop phase. I’m going to go ahead and tell you it’ll only last 2 weeks and then he will be an extremely happy baby. I promise.
19. I know you have 27 infant baby hats, you hoarder. You need two.
20. You are not going to be one of those mothers who puts her infant in completely matching ensembles.
21. You know how he has hiccups all the time in the womb? That continues. It’s cute.
22. Just like you thought, your family and friends will be awesome for you.
23. I know you didn’t think of this, but go pick out a really cute, WARM outfit for him to travel home in. (One that doesn’t have to go over his head.)
24. I know your plan is to have drugs during labor. I think that is wise.
25. Your baby monitors blow. Exchange and get a video monitor.
26. Why yes, you do need some bottles.
27. Pampers. He’ll like Pampers.
28. That swing is a Godsend. Go ahead and give it a kiss for me.
29. Don’t forget to clean behind his ears.
30. Make a deal with Kevin now — you’ll change every diaper if he’ll cut the baby nails.
31. You know how you wanted him to look like Kev? That happens.
32. You know how you don’t want him to get your temper? Well…
33. He’s gonna laugh SO much. You are going to laugh SO much. So. Much.
34. You’re right. Kevin is going to be a great father.
35. Take chapstick with you to the hospital.
36. Oh, take your own hand soap to the hospital. You are strangely allergic.
37. When you call Kev to tell him it’s time to go to the hospital, make it sound really urgent. Or else he’ll take his sweet, sweet time.
38. You are as relaxed during labor and delivery as you thought you’d be. You weirdo.
39. Make everyone at the hospital pose together with newborn Tom.
40. You are a more laid back mother than anyone thought you’d be. I’m proud of you.
Everything you’ve ever heard about how much you’re going to love your child is 100% absolutely crazy true. Your life is going to change, in the best possible ways. He is going to change your outlook on life. He is going to be an amazing kid. You are going to be a good mother. Don’t worry.
It’s going to be great.