This week, Kevin had to go out of town for business.
Approximately 47 minutes after Kev left for the airport, and I had put Tom down for a nap, and my Huckle was sleeping soundly in the afternoon sun, I pitched an annoying hissy fit over something really minor, threw my phone on the kitchen floor and broke it.
Which, as I’m sure you may have guessed, made me even more mad.
So I broke it again.
I’m kidding. It was broken. I called my sister and vented like any normal, insane person would do.
And then I called Kev (at the airport) and said, “My phone is broken.”
Now, he had just helped me with it right before he left, but apparently he thought better than to ask me what had happened and instead said, “Well, you need to go buy a new one.”
So once Tom woke from his nap, I drove us to the cell phone store so the following could happen in order for me to be (rightly) punished for my childish behavior.
1. The cell phone employee asked for my number and I gave it to him.
2. He made a face and said, “Can you get in touch with your husband?”
3. I call Kev from the store. I get his voicemail. You know, because he’s on an airplane.
4. I tell the employee and he says they need him to call customer service to make me a trusted something so I can buy a new phone for myself. Ummm…okay.
5. While talking to the man, Tom grabs a pen.
6. And writes all over his shirt with it.
7. And screams and cries when I take it away.
8. And then we leave and get home, and five minutes later Kev calls and said he’s made me the trusted something.
But I decided I couldn’t go back there that night. I had to feed Tom his supper and get ready for bed and all that so we waited until the next day so the following could happen to make sure I was even more (rightly) punished.
9. The cell phone employee asked for my number and I gave it to her.
10. She showed me every phone they had available that was over $500.
11. I said, “I’m really going to need something significantly cheaper than that because I broke my phone during a temper tantrum and I don’t think I should get the best phone available as a replacement.” She nodded knowingly.
12. Tom began walking/crawling/pushing-his-train around the store like a maniac.
13. The lady kept showing me all the details and features of every. single. phone. they have. And she said things like 3G and 5something and what?! And while she was doing that, Tom had traveled over to the front doors of the store and another employee had to say to me, “Ma’am, I think your son is leaving.”
14. She showed me a phone that was cheap enough and I recognized from the (very slight) research I had done the night before. I told her I’d take it.
15. Tom continued to be a toddler in a cell phone store.
16. She fixed my phone up for me while I played trains with my child in the middle of their showroom floor.
17. Then she asked me for my login and password. I drew a complete blank.
18. I put in two different logins and six different passwords. I desperately call Kev and get his voicemail. I then try my very, very old password I only use as a joke. It worked.
19. Then she asked me to plug in a different login and password for yet another part of the phone. OHMYGOD!!! I JUST WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE!! It took me three tries and one prayer.
20. I got the phone. I thanked every employee profusely. I thanked a stranger who had played trains with Tom while I was typing incorrect email addresses and passwords on a teeney, tiny touchscreen. And then I told myself I would never, ever break my phone again. And I may have told the employee that, too. And the stranger. And my very nice and forgiving hub. And Tom, who told everyone in the store a very loud “BYE BYE!!!” when we left. He had a blast.