Cherishing This Time.

When I first became Tom’s mother I was scared.

I had no idea what to do.

I had never even really held a baby before. I certainly hadn’t picked one up!

I hadn’t changed one. I’d never tried to calm one down. I’d never fed a baby.

I didn’t know what babies liked to do.

Rollercoasters? No.

Having their baby heads sniffed? Ummm…sure!

I loved being Tom’s mother. I loved being a mother, period. But I was anxious about a lot of things. It was hard for me to not know what I was doing, but wanting so badly to do it right.

As Tom got a little bit older, I got a little more confident, but also a little busier.

Tom wanted me to hold him All. The. Time.

Which was hard because I felt like I needed to sometimes do laundry, put dishes away, clean a toilet.

So I’d hold Tom some and then I’d sneak away and do some housework. Which made me feel guilty about not holding Tom, but better about the state of our house.

But I still didn’t feel like I had the balance quite right.

Working on a balance in life with children is always something to work on.

Time for your children. Time for your husband. Time for yourself.

But for me, in these past couple months, I’ve felt that the time I have been spending with Tom has been THE time.

The best of times.

I know Tom. The child he is becoming is happening. Right now.

I am seeing him develop his imagination, his vocabulary, his social skills.

I know he loves being outside more than inside. I know he is incredibly active. I know he thinks sleeping is for sissys.

I know he LOVES green beans. But yesterday he HATED them.

I know he loves trains, trucks, cars, golf carts, and not-at-all-surprisingly the song “The Wheels On The Truck.”

I know he loves me. More than anyone.

This is the time when he reaches for me always.

Now is the time that I am his best friend.

Right now, Tom will gladly hold my hand.

Tom will give me a hug when I ask for one.

He lets me tickle him until he gets the hiccups.

He thinks playing hide-and-go-seek with me is the only game that needs to be played.

When I leave the room, Tom cries. He is devastated. He misses me even when I’m only gone for 10 minutes.

I am cherishing this time.

Before he becomes more independent, before he makes his own best friend, before he discovers the wonderful world of Wii…

This time is for me and Tom.

So I am spending almost all of it teaching him, playing with him, singing with him, learning with him, and smothering him with kisses and hugs.

And that’s as balanced as I’m willing to be.

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11 Responses to Cherishing This Time.

  1. waymel says:

    I still can’t go from my reader to your blog, but I went to the trouble of actually typing in the address so I could say what a beautiful post this is. So lovely. So refreshing. Can you imagine sending him to day care all day? (I know some people don’t have a choice. But some people do. I think they only see the work of staying home, and not the joys that you list here.) I wish we could hang out. My girls would love Tom! LOVE!

    • loveandkate says:

      What the reader?! I still need to work on figuring that out. I wish we could hang out, too. I feel like I know Abby and Emma! Maybe next time you’re up this way!

  2. Lisa says:

    I just love your blog it always touches my heart …love u

  3. Lindsey says:

    Kate, Kate, Kate…..this is SO true! Unfortunately, I have to work – so my babies (well, Owen will be in 2 grade next year, so he’s in “real” school) have to go to daycare…and my little baby – Davis will actually start Pre-K this fall. BUT, he’s still only 3 and I am his best friend as I am reminded about a hundred times between the hours of 5:30 and 8:30 every night! I hold him, he sits in my lap, and I would rather have him in the bed than Kent most of the time. He will only want me like this for so much longer, and then I will be chopped liver like I am with Owen. That is unless something is wrong or he needs food. Or perhaps a new pair of tennis shoes! My point is, mine is an almost 4 yr old, 40# baby that I am more than willing to hold (like I did for the whole church service last Sunday, standing and sitting) whenever he wants, carry wherever he wants, hug and kiss whenever he wants because I know time is ticking! Do not confuse this with spoiling him. I am merely taking advantage of his sweetness before he realizes that mommy is not that cool anymore! I say suck it up as much as you can and give him all you can because this time will be precious to you in your memories. You can’t go back, but you can have another baby and do it all over again! NOT ME THOUGH! πŸ˜‰

    • loveandkate says:

      Thank you so much, Lindsey! I will say that back when I wrote about trying to hide from Tom so I could get stuff done, I remembered your comment that said something like, “Pick that baby up! While you can!” And that really changed my way of thinking. THANK YOU, sweet girl. LOVE!

  4. shirley wilmoth says:

    This is beautiful. I can tell you though, it is next to impossible to be balanced ever when it comes to your children. With me, It will always be absolutely impossible.

  5. Kaye Smith says:

    Sounds to me you’ve got it right, experience or not:)

  6. Robyn says:

    I’m so glad you are loving being home with Tom. Remember when you were so scared? Remember when we all knew you could do it and be great at it?? You can and you are. I’m so happy for you. And Tom.

  7. Jody Gelsthorpe says:

    So sweet! You are a wonderful mother, it must have just come naturally for you! Just keep doing what you are doing and enjoy every minute!

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