Dammit, I Taught My Kid To Curse.

Every now and then I go through a phase where curse words just come more easily out of my mouth.

It sneaks up on me!

So. Bad.

I feel like I haven’t gone through this phase since I had Tom.

Until now.

I guess I’m just more stressed and more tired and every now and then these words are sneaking out of my mouth.

(The bastards.)

Anyway, I’m sure you’ll totally understand that what happened today was entirely curse-worthy.

Tom was playing outside and I was trying to see if Alice would be content in the Baby Bjorn so I could walk around the yard with her.

As I was walking (barefoot) in the yard, I suddenly felt as if I’d stepped on glass.

And when I looked down, I saw a bee.

I stepped on a bee.

And it showed its displeasure by stinging the bottom of my foot.


Now, I didn’t curse here.

(Points for me, right?)

I just very calmly told Kevin, “I stepped on a bee.”

And then I calmly added, “It hurts really, really badly.”

(Cause it did.)

About an hour later, I’d put Alice down for a nap and brought Tom inside to get him ready for his nap.

And as I was walking through the living room, I stepped on one of his helicopters.

A metal helicopter with propellers.

With the foot that had just been stung by the bee.

The one that hurt really, really badly.

So I said not-very-calmly, “Oh my God! Ouch! Dammit!”

And what did Tom get from that?


And then I cried.

Not only had I been stung by a bee and stepped on a helicopter, but I’d taught my son a curse word!

No fair!

I want to be the good parent!

I want to be the one that does the right thing and says the right thing and doesn’t teach a toddler bad words!

But, alas, that was not meant to be today.

I really felt like I was so close to becoming Mom of the Year this year, but now my hopes are dashed.

And what do I say to that?


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9 Responses to Dammit, I Taught My Kid To Curse.

  1. KD says:

    You have to really practice on a new word to curse with that isn’t a curse word. Deanne taught me John BROWNIT and I try to use that. Jay’s favorite is courtesy of SpongeBob – Tartar Sauce!

  2. Julie-Ann says:

    I think this is hilarious! I am pretty sure Maddie’s first word was ‘shit’. We do the best we can as parents and if ‘damnit’ is the worst thing he does this week, well then so be it. He could have screamed something that rhymes with truck! Oh and does damnit really count as a curse word? Oops!

  3. Kristina says:

    First I know how you feel with the bee sting…I got stung @ victoria house last Friday when I was leaving…it really hurt for quite some time! 2nd you are still a wonderful mother and I think it is something we will all go through! I am just waiting for the day that it happens to me!

  4. redkeeney says:

    My mom used to say “sugar” when she hurt herself. I remember thinking I knew what she really wanted to say…..

    Dammit is not so bad. You’re still super mom to me!

  5. othervixie says:

    I am so sorry you got stung. It really hurts! At least its not the worst word Tom could have picked up. Friends of ours curse all the time in front of their little one and they just explain to her that they are using adult only words if she repeats them but I think that might be hard to explain to little ones.

  6. Kaye Smith says:

    Although I went barefoot all the time when I was a kid, I almost never do now. I either have on slippers, flip flops or is really necessary, shoes. My favorite word of frustration is “Sugar”. Latched onto that one after having “kids”. It’s still sometimes misunderstood as a 4-letter word.

    By the way, Kate, I think you are a wonderful mom, and if you don’t believe it, just ask Tom or Alice?

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