Every now and then I go through a phase where curse words just come more easily out of my mouth.
It sneaks up on me!
I feel like I haven’t gone through this phase since I had Tom.
I guess I’m just more stressed and more tired and every now and then these words are sneaking out of my mouth.
Anyway, I’m sure you’ll totally understand that what happened today was entirely curse-worthy.
Tom was playing outside and I was trying to see if Alice would be content in the Baby Bjorn so I could walk around the yard with her.
As I was walking (barefoot) in the yard, I suddenly felt as if I’d stepped on glass.
And when I looked down, I saw a bee.
I stepped on a bee.
And it showed its displeasure by stinging the bottom of my foot.
Now, I didn’t curse here.
(Points for me, right?)
I just very calmly told Kevin, “I stepped on a bee.”
And then I calmly added, “It hurts really, really badly.”
(Cause it did.)
About an hour later, I’d put Alice down for a nap and brought Tom inside to get him ready for his nap.
And as I was walking through the living room, I stepped on one of his helicopters.
A metal helicopter with propellers.
With the foot that had just been stung by the bee.
The one that hurt really, really badly.
So I said not-very-calmly, “Oh my God! Ouch! Dammit!”
And what did Tom get from that?
And then I cried.
Not only had I been stung by a bee and stepped on a helicopter, but I’d taught my son a curse word!
I want to be the good parent!
I want to be the one that does the right thing and says the right thing and doesn’t teach a toddler bad words!
But, alas, that was not meant to be today.
I really felt like I was so close to becoming Mom of the Year this year, but now my hopes are dashed.
And what do I say to that?