Confident Mama.

The past couple weeks I’ve been struggling a bit with Tom.

I felt like I was getting incredibly frustrated with him and I couldn’t figure out why.

I didn’t know what had changed.

I didn’t know if I was just getting overwhelmed because I now have two little munchkins.

Or if he was being bad and testing me.

Or what.

I just had no idea.

And that in itself was frustrating.

But Monday?

Monday sucked.

Like, big time major boo yucky sucked.

I felt like I woke up and immediately had to start reprimanding Tom.

I was all-the-time sighing at him.

Telling him “No” constantly.

Saying things like, “I will pay you a million dollars if you stop whining.”

“Stop whining.”

“Please stop whining!!”

By 8:17 a.m. — I was done.

(Yes, you read that right. A.M.!)

It was just a super tough day that wasn’t any better because Kev was out of town and wasn’t home until 11 that night.

It also rained all that day so we were mostly cooped up.

All.

The live-long.

Day.

What came out of that day of crappy-ness was that I had had enough.

I hated how the day had gone and I’m sure Tom didn’t love it either.

I felt beat up.

Exhausted, frustrated, tired and sad.

I feel like I usually have a lot of energy and Tom and I are best buddies and having a good time.

But the past few days had been hit or miss and Monday was the cherry on top of suck.

I felt like I needed to call the Super Nanny.

But instead!

I talked to Kevin and I called my sister and my mom and asked for advice.

What was I doing wrong?

What should I be doing better?

And how could I do it?

And the answer was: I am the mom.

*I* am.

I think I had gotten into a rut where I just let Tom step all over me.

It was like I all of a sudden became someone who never wanted to upset my child.

What?!

I’m his mother.

Of COURSE I’m going to upset him!

Tom needs me to tell him what to do. To give him guidance.

And I had almost stopped doing that.

Instead of confidently correcting certain behaviors, I was just going for, “Ugh. Tom, please stop doing that!”

And there were no real consequences if he didn’t stop doing it, except I would get super upset.

I know telling you that I needed to tell my 2-year-old what to do and get on to him when he didn’t seems obvious.

And I promise you, I usually do!

But I think the past couple weeks, for whatever reason, I’d kind of…stopped.

Monday snapped me out of it.

Kevin had told me that I needed to correct certain things before they escalated, and he was totally right.

(Smart man, my hub.)

I cannot even tell you how much better the next day was.

Armed with a plan, I just felt more confident.

Honestly, all the bad days had started me thinking that I had no idea what I was doing.

(Which I do feel like sometimes, of course. That’s what this blog is about! But all the time? No.)

I paid a lot of attention to Tom.

I told him “No” when it was needed as soon as it was.

I didn’t tolerate the whining.

I gave him warnings and threatened time-outs with plans to follow through.

(He didn’t need it. Warning him upsets him almost always.)

We got back to the way we were.

Which was great for both of us.

Turns out if I do those things, we don’t spend the whole day in tears.

If I’m confident with the “no’s” I use — I don’t have to use them as often.

If I explain the bad behaviors that need to stop without getting upset, he understands.

It’s been great.

We’ve had our wonderful days together once again.

You know what, guys?

My husband, mom and sister are total Super Nannys.

(With southern accents.)

So happy they were around to tell me what was what.

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5 Responses to Confident Mama.

  1. waymel says:

    Aww, we all need reminders of obvious things sometimes. Way to call for help!

  2. aSprinkling says:

    If you just would have left the zoo with me, you could have signed up to be on America’s Supernanny. I was stopped by a recruiter… – JM

  3. Victoria says:

    I know exactly how you were feeling – as you saw on Friday Maxine and I have been having a tough time. I think it is just a combination of their age and how we need to guide them but sometimes it is oh-so-hard and by 8am you really are D.O.N.E! You are doing awesome and Tom is fantastic and I am so glad you have southern supernanny’s to call šŸ™‚

  4. redkeeney says:

    yay – glad you had good input – you’re doing great. Tom is a sweet little boy.

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