Poo PJs.

I took the kids to the park today.

Well, first I drove them around until they both fell asleep so they’d be nice and pleasant to take the park.

Then I took them to the park.

Once we got there I put Alice in the stroller and Tom immediately began to play.

We played together, Alice ate her snacks and enjoyed the sun, we went on a walk around the pond and fed the ducks…it was all very Norman Rockwell.

After we’d be there a little while, a boy about Tom’s age who we’d played with before stopped by.

So I began to talk with his mom and she reminded me that we’d met before (because I remember nothing) and we chatted like we were old friends.

I love when that happens.

She’s pregnant with her second child — a girl — and she’s due in about a month, so we had a lot in common and spoke a lot.

I actually felt a little embarrassed because for the first time ever (ever!) I’d taken Alice out in public in her pajamas.

This is not because I care about other babies being in pajamas, but I just like to dress Alice up in her cute outfits!

Today I didn’t because I was just anxious to get them out of the house and knew we wouldn’t see anyone we knew…so of course we (sort of) did.

Anyway, it was just a hint of embarrassment and nothing I would’ve even thought about enough to mention again except in this story.

As I’m talking to the mom and Tom is playing with her son, Alice started to get a bit antsy, so I picked her up.

I held her as we walked and talked.

I sat her down on the bench and the boys came over and hugged her.

Everyone saw me holding her for a long, long time…

(This is important.  I promise.)

After we’d been there for a long time, me and the mom both decided it was time to head home and feed our boys some lunch.

And as I began to put Alice back in her stroller, I said, “Alice, you smell a little suspicious, I’ll check your diaper before we leave.”

And then Tom said goodbye to his friend, and I said goodbye to the mom, and I proceeded to open the back of my van to check Alice’s diaper.

Dude.

It was not just a poo diaper.

It was THE poo diaper.

And it wasn’t just in her diaper.

And she hadn’t pooed recently.

What I’m telling you is:

I was carrying around my beautiful daughter, in pajamas, at a park, trying to make a lifelong friend while she was COVERED IN POO AND IT WAS ALL OVER THE BACK OF HER PAJAMAS!!!

It wasn’t wet, which was why I didn’t feel it — it had dried.

Meaning she had pooed while she was either in the car or stroller.

And she hadn’t fussed a bit.

And I’m sick, so I didn’t smell it.

And OH MY GOD!

Y’all!

I was the lady at the park carrying her smelly daughter around in poo-stained pajamas!

I’m that mom!

(Just in case you were wondering.)

So anyway, I’m sure my almost-lifelong-friend was really impressed with all the advice I was giving her.

Because nothing says, ‘Trust-me! I’m-a-good-mom!’ like smelly babies in poo-pjs.

(So sorry, Alice!  So, so, so sorry!!!)

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