On Friday, Kevin was out of town for work.
He told me that morning he would be back by dinnertime.
At 4:45 p.m., I called him to find out exactly what time he’d be here.
That is not dinnertime for us.
(Anymore. We’re a family now! Us: Eating dinner at a normal hour since 2010!)
So I did my whole deep-breath-for-10-seconds thing and then said in my fake-happy-voice, “Okay, honey!” and got off the phone before he said anything else COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS.
So I went ahead and fed the kids dinner, and after dinner I went ahead and gave them their baths together.
And here’s when my Friday night got a little…wild.
Both kids “told” me they were done with their bath at the same time.
(Alice tells me by trying to physically get out on her own so…it’s not really that hard to figure out.)
I told Tom I had to get Alice out first and leave him, but that I’d be back to get him in one minute and to sing me a song.
(Alice’s room is right next to the bathroom…swear!)
So I’m getting Alice in her pajamas when Tom stops singing.
“Are you okay, Tom?”
He said, “Yes!”
And then right after I’m done with Alice, Tom starts to cry.
So I run into the bathroom to see what is wrong.
“I pooped. I pooped in the bath,” he said.
At first I didn’t believe him.
He knows not to do that! And he’s (almost) THREE!
So there’s no way he could possibly disobey/ignore us, right?!
So yeah, there was poo in there.
So I got Tom out, and I got him all cleaned up and put on his pajamas.
Then I started to clean the bathtub.
(Tom came in and told me, “You’re doing a good job, Mommy!” Uhh…thanks.)
While I’m cleaning the bathtub, Alice crawls in to check on me.
And then I realize she has smelly spit up all over the front of her newly-put-on pajamas.
A lot of spit up!
She hardly ever spits up, by the way.
This was special.
So I change her into even newer pajamas.
And then I realize that if she has that much spit up on her, there is probably more on a floor somewhere.
So I take *one* step into the living room to look for it, and step smack-dab into it.
And that was my Friday.