Naked In Wal-Mart.

A couple weeks ago, I took Alice with me to Wal-Mart to buy all the supplies Tom would need for Kindergarten.

(!!!)

I sat her in the cart, and proceeded to go up and down the school supply section armed with the list and a determination to score all 24 glue sticks, yellow spiral-bound notebooks, and green plastic folders with brads that were needed.

After we were done with the school supplies, we then trekked all over the super store to get the antibacterial wipes, the Clorox, the hand soap, the baby wipes, and the special requested copy paper, because I am a suck up.

After my cart was full of all things Kindergarten-related, I realized I’d forgotten one thing, and that it was (of course!) on the other side of the store.

So as I’m walking up another full aisle of Wal-Mart, to get that one. last. thing. Alice says loudly…

“I DON’T HAVE ANY PANTIES ON!!  I’M NAKED IN THE STORE!!!”

Y’all.

Me (quiet-sort-of-loud-whisper): “What?!  Why are you saying that?  Of course you have panties on!”

Alice (proving it):  “No I don’t!”

She didn’t.

And then I died.

I had walked all over that huge store. For an hour. With my child in a short dress. Sitting in that cart.  NO PANTIES.

In Wal-Mart.

Chandler Bing (probably): “Could you BE any more Wal-Mart?” #friends

No. No we could not.

She didn’t say it in the beginning of this trip.  You know, when I could’ve…bought panties for the little stinker who insists on taking them off whenever!

Nope. Full on HOUR LATER.

So…I just took her out of the cart.  Told her to walk (you know, instead of flashing EVERYONE in the school aisle!) to the check-out and to please, please, PLEASE not pull up her dress.  Or speak.

She did.

Check-out was mercifully uneventful and we made it to the car without arrest.

Remember that time Kevin took Tom to school with no pants?

Yeah.  Well, apparently it’s contagious!

Enjoy the crayons, Tom!

Your naked bottomed little sis picked them out! 😉

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3 Responses to Naked In Wal-Mart.

  1. waymel says:

    You’re probably on that “people of Walmart” site now. Ha ha! Alice is awesome.

  2. redkeeney says:

    I love this so much!

  3. This post was so worth the wait!!!

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