Alice’s Most Hilarious 5-Year-Old Quotes.


This past year with Alice has been hysterical. She is seriously the funniest little thing, and I just adore the way her mind works.  Tomorrow, she will be SIX!  I can hardly believe it.  And although I know 6-year-old Alice will be just as funny, I sure will miss 5-year-old Alice, because she has been a hoot!

So here are the best things 5-year-old Alice said in the past year!  You will learn about her love for Bob Ross, her completely honest dinner prayers, and her irritation with the English language — and really, what more could you want from your Monday?!

LOVE our happy, silly girl!

1.April 7, 2017
Alice: “Daddy, I love you 148!”
Kevin: “Yeah? Well I love you 149.”
Alice: “Ugh!”

2. April 21, 20178
Alice: “Mom, do you live safely?”
Me: “Um…well, I guess so.”
Alice: “Oh, then we’re different because I like to live dangerously.”

3. April 27, 2017
“When I’m 13 can I be the mom?” -Alice

4. May 4, 2017
“Hey, Mom! Guess what? I fell in love with Seth today.” –Alice

5. June 9, 2017
Alice: “I want to ride my bike to the moon.”
Me: “The moon?”
Alice: “Not the one in outer space, the one at the end of the street.”

6. June 24, 2017
Me: “What are you watching?”
Alice: “Bob Ross. He’s a really good painter.”

7. July 14, 2017
“You wanna watch the Belle movie with the lights off, and eat cupcakes?” -Alice

8. August 26, 2017
Me: “Mosquitoes love me because I’m so sweet!”
Alice: “And ants love me because I’m so awesome!”

9. August 29, 2017
Alice (praying before dinner): “Dear Jesus, thank you for giving us this food, so we don’t starve to death. Amen.”

10. August 31, 2017
Alice: “I think Dalton likes me.”
Me: “Why do you think that?”
Alice: “Because he asked for my phone number, but I told him I didn’t know it.”

11. September 19, 2017
Alice: “I already got hurt in my backyard earlier.”
Boy: “By a raccoon?”
Alice: “What?! No! Just falling down.”

12. November 30, 2017
Me: “You have your field trip to see the play today! Are you excited?”
Alice: “I’m kind of scared.”
Me: “Why?”
Alice: “I’m scared I won’t know when to clap.”

13. December 10, 2017
*I’ve just walked in the door after running an errand solo.*
Alice: “Tom cut himself with a knife while you were gone, but don’t worry, he’s still alive and everything.”

14. December 10, 2017
Me: “Now remember, don’t tell him what his present is.”
Alice: “OK! Tom, this present is yours, but you can’t open it until Christmas.”
Tom: “What is it?”
Alice: “I can’t tell you, but it’s some type of Transformer.”

15. December 18, 2017
Alice (while eating lunch): “I really want this chicken to be made out of steak.”

16. December 26, 2017
Alice: “I love you, Mama, and I think you’re the most beautiful mom in the world! (Looks at me longer.) No matter what you wear.”

17. January 16, 2018
Alice (excitedly): “My nose bled at school today, and even the FIRST graders were talking about it!”

18. January 19, 2018
Alice (hugging my dad): “I love you, PawPaw! But you’re going to be dead by the time I grow up.” #morbidgirl

19. January 28, 2018
Alice: “Pot haircuts are hideous.”
Me: “Pot haircuts? You mean bowl cuts?”
Alice: “Yes!”

20. February 10, 2018
“I don’t think it’s right that a letter can make more than one sound. JUST MAKE ONE SOUND, LETTERS!” -Alice (while practicing sight words)

21. March 1, 2018
Alice: “Is it OK if I do whatever I want?”
Me: “Um…what?”
Alice (scoffing): “I mean not pierce my ears or drive, but can I move stuff around in my room?”


This entry was posted in Alice, Birthdays, Quotes. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Alice’s Most Hilarious 5-Year-Old Quotes.

  1. waymel says:

    Those are all hilarious! When did she get grown up enough to say “hideous”? And read? And…move stuff around in her room?

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